泰葉「恐ろしき四月馬鹿」
P「年に一度、嘘をついていい日というのが存在する」
P「それが今日、四月一日なのだ」
P「起源はまったくもって不明だが、世界的にそういうことになっている」
周子「ほうほう」
フレデリカ「へー」
P「もういい時間だが、それに関し多様にあるというローカルルールは無視していくことにする」
P「それが今日、四月一日なのだ」
P「起源はまったくもって不明だが、世界的にそういうことになっている」
周子「ほうほう」
フレデリカ「へー」
P「もういい時間だが、それに関し多様にあるというローカルルールは無視していくことにする」
P「泰葉ってのはとってもマジメだ」
P「そりゃあもうマジメだ。真面目で頑張り屋さんだ」
P「そして芸暦も長い。幼い頃から子役やモデルとして活躍してきた」
P「でもな、だからこそ経験してない事ってのがある。それがドッキリだ」
P「絵的にかわいそうだからな。幼いタレントなり子役にドッキリを仕掛けることってのはそうそうない」
P「し、『子役』という職種上、どうしてもある程度成長するとメディアへの露出が大幅に減る」
P「よって、泰葉がこれまでに番組の企画等でドッキリの類を受けていないのはほぼ間違いないだろう」
P「そりゃあもうマジメだ。真面目で頑張り屋さんだ」
P「そして芸暦も長い。幼い頃から子役やモデルとして活躍してきた」
P「でもな、だからこそ経験してない事ってのがある。それがドッキリだ」
P「絵的にかわいそうだからな。幼いタレントなり子役にドッキリを仕掛けることってのはそうそうない」
P「し、『子役』という職種上、どうしてもある程度成長するとメディアへの露出が大幅に減る」
P「よって、泰葉がこれまでに番組の企画等でドッキリの類を受けていないのはほぼ間違いないだろう」
P「そんなワケで泰葉に嘘をついてみようと思うんだ」
P「しかし、泰葉はとても繊細な子だ。絶対に加減を間違えたくない」
P「だから、周子、フレデリカ。お前達を呼んだ」
周子「なんで?」
P「泰葉と交流のある子の中で一番不真面目だからだ」
周子「言い草ひどない?」
フレデリカ「プロデューサーひどーい! ぶーぶー!」
P「しかし、泰葉はとても繊細な子だ。絶対に加減を間違えたくない」
P「だから、周子、フレデリカ。お前達を呼んだ」
周子「なんで?」
P「泰葉と交流のある子の中で一番不真面目だからだ」
周子「言い草ひどない?」
フレデリカ「プロデューサーひどーい! ぶーぶー!」
P「ま、これも嘘だということにしてだな」
周子「まああたしもそんなに否定できんけどね」
フレデリカ「アタシはマジメにふざけてるよー☆」
P「悠貴や葵と比べよう」
周子「キラッキラした子らと比べるのはナシで」
フレデリカ「アタシらヨゴレー?」
P「事務所的には最上級に輝いてるがな」
周子「まああたしもそんなに否定できんけどね」
フレデリカ「アタシはマジメにふざけてるよー☆」
P「悠貴や葵と比べよう」
周子「キラッキラした子らと比べるのはナシで」
フレデリカ「アタシらヨゴレー?」
P「事務所的には最上級に輝いてるがな」
P「で、だ。本題に戻るぞ。泰葉にちょうどいい嘘をつきたいんだ」
フレデリカ「んー……」
周子「それあたしらにフられてもなー……」
P「お前そういうの得意だろ」
周子「あたしのこと何やと思ってんの?」
P「人を化かす狐の類」
周子「じゃあおいなりさんお供えして」
P「後でな」
周子「やった」
フレデリカ「んー……」
周子「それあたしらにフられてもなー……」
P「お前そういうの得意だろ」
周子「あたしのこと何やと思ってんの?」
P「人を化かす狐の類」
周子「じゃあおいなりさんお供えして」
P「後でな」
周子「やった」
フレデリカ「はい!」
P「お、フレデリカ、何か思いついたか」
フレデリカ「下ネタ!」
P「裁判勝てる気しないわ」
周子「訴えられるの決定?」
P「次」
周子「んー……じゃあ、はい」
P「よしきた周子」
P「お、フレデリカ、何か思いついたか」
フレデリカ「下ネタ!」
P「裁判勝てる気しないわ」
周子「訴えられるの決定?」
P「次」
周子「んー……じゃあ、はい」
P「よしきた周子」
周子「おもっきしイチャついてるとこ見せ付けよう」
P「……はい?」
周子「おもっきし嫉妬を煽ってみよう。むくれる泰葉かわいいと思うよー?」
P「おもっきし?」
周子「おもっきし」
P「誰が?」
フレデリカ「アタシが!」
周子「そーそーフレデリカが」
P「じゃなくて?」
周子「Pさんが」
P「……はい?」
周子「おもっきし嫉妬を煽ってみよう。むくれる泰葉かわいいと思うよー?」
P「おもっきし?」
周子「おもっきし」
P「誰が?」
フレデリカ「アタシが!」
周子「そーそーフレデリカが」
P「じゃなくて?」
周子「Pさんが」
P「おもっきし見せ付けるってなんだよ。それがどういう風に……」
周子「だからー……」
ホワンホワンホワンホワーン
P『ほらほら周子ーはいあーん』
周子『あーん……んーうまい♪』
泰葉『Pさん!? 周子さんも何やってるんですか!?』
P『だって俺達……なー?』
周子『なー♪』
泰葉『む……もうPさんなんて知りませんっ』プイッ
周子『……なーんて』
P『ウソー! 今日はエイプリルフールだぞー!』
泰葉『そ、そうだったんですか……』ホッ
P『ごめんな泰葉ー!』
泰葉『あの……!』
泰葉『今ので気付きました……私、Pさんのことが……!』
ホワンホワンホワンホワーン
周子「ほーらハッピーエンドー」
P「色々となんで?」
周子「だからー……」
ホワンホワンホワンホワーン
P『ほらほら周子ーはいあーん』
周子『あーん……んーうまい♪』
泰葉『Pさん!? 周子さんも何やってるんですか!?』
P『だって俺達……なー?』
周子『なー♪』
泰葉『む……もうPさんなんて知りませんっ』プイッ
周子『……なーんて』
P『ウソー! 今日はエイプリルフールだぞー!』
泰葉『そ、そうだったんですか……』ホッ
P『ごめんな泰葉ー!』
泰葉『あの……!』
泰葉『今ので気付きました……私、Pさんのことが……!』
ホワンホワンホワンホワーン
周子「ほーらハッピーエンドー」
P「色々となんで?」
P「傷つくタイプのウソは無しっつったよな俺?」
周子「最初からハッピーエンドの映画なんて3分あれば終わっちゃうし」
P「あと着地がおかしいよな?」
周子「泰葉に愛されたいでしょ?」
P「趣旨が違うわ」
周子「でも愛されたい?」
P「おう」
周子「だろうね」
周子「最初からハッピーエンドの映画なんて3分あれば終わっちゃうし」
P「あと着地がおかしいよな?」
周子「泰葉に愛されたいでしょ?」
P「趣旨が違うわ」
周子「でも愛されたい?」
P「おう」
周子「だろうね」
フレデリカ「じゃあじゃあ、こういうのはー?」
ホワンホワンホワンホワーン
P『ほれほれフレデリカーおいでー』
ガバッ
フレデリカ『んーあったかい☆ もう春だから!』
泰葉『Pさん!? フレデリカさんも何やってるんですか!?』
フレデリカ『んー
P「タイム」
フレデリカ「なに?」
P「これ展開同じ?」
フレデリカ「同じ」
ホワンホワンホワンホワーン
P『ほれほれフレデリカーおいでー』
ガバッ
フレデリカ『んーあったかい☆ もう春だから!』
泰葉『Pさん!? フレデリカさんも何やってるんですか!?』
フレデリカ『んー
P「タイム」
フレデリカ「なに?」
P「これ展開同じ?」
フレデリカ「同じ」
P「却下だ却下。うーん何にするかなー……」
フレデリカ「ドッキリの定番落とし穴!」
P「だから嘘がメインだっての」
周子「なんでもないのに誕生日パーティー」
P「今日小春の誕生日だろ」
周子「実はそれがウソとか」
P「あの小春がそんな大がかりなのを!?」
フレデリカ「じゃあ逆に小春ちゃんに祝わせてみる!」
P「逆にって何!?」
周子「事務所総出でヒョウくんの誕生日パーティー」
P「規模が凄い!」
フレデリカ「ドッキリの定番落とし穴!」
P「だから嘘がメインだっての」
周子「なんでもないのに誕生日パーティー」
P「今日小春の誕生日だろ」
周子「実はそれがウソとか」
P「あの小春がそんな大がかりなのを!?」
フレデリカ「じゃあ逆に小春ちゃんに祝わせてみる!」
P「逆にって何!?」
周子「事務所総出でヒョウくんの誕生日パーティー」
P「規模が凄い!」
P「……はあ、どうしたもんか」
フレデリカ「プロデューサー文句ばっかー」
周子「もう最初のでよくない?」
P「見せ付けるの?」
周子「そーそー」
P「誰が?」
周子「そりゃあPさんとー……」
フレデリカ「ノノちゃん!」ガッ
ズルッ
乃々「なんでバレてるんですか……」
フレデリカ「プロデューサー文句ばっかー」
周子「もう最初のでよくない?」
P「見せ付けるの?」
周子「そーそー」
P「誰が?」
周子「そりゃあPさんとー……」
フレデリカ「ノノちゃん!」ガッ
ズルッ
乃々「なんでバレてるんですか……」
P「お前ずっとそこで聞いてたのか?」
乃々「この机はもりくぼの住処なんですけど……」
P「この案どう思う?」
乃々「いいんじゃないですか……?」
P「マジか……。俺とお前でやれる?」
乃々「参加はむーりぃー……」
P「だってさ」
周子「じゃああたしがやるよ」
フレデリカ「アタシもやりたーい」
乃々「でももりくぼはやりません……」
P「どうぞどうぞ」
乃々「いーやぁー……」
乃々「この机はもりくぼの住処なんですけど……」
P「この案どう思う?」
乃々「いいんじゃないですか……?」
P「マジか……。俺とお前でやれる?」
乃々「参加はむーりぃー……」
P「だってさ」
周子「じゃああたしがやるよ」
フレデリカ「アタシもやりたーい」
乃々「でももりくぼはやりません……」
P「どうぞどうぞ」
乃々「いーやぁー……」
P「で、結局周子と実行することになったな」
周子「そろそろ泰葉帰ってくるんじゃない?」
ガチャ
泰葉「ただいま戻りました」
P「お、お帰り泰葉」
泰葉「…………」スッ
P「……」
周子「そろそろ泰葉帰ってくるんじゃない?」
ガチャ
泰葉「ただいま戻りました」
P「お、お帰り泰葉」
泰葉「…………」スッ
P「……」
P「……泰葉?」
周子「Pさん段取りと違うよ」
P「いや、なんか様子が……」
P「おーい、泰葉ー?」
泰葉「はぁー……」
P「……泰葉?」
泰葉「何度も呼ばないでください。何なんですか?」ハイライトオフ
P「!!!???」
周子「Pさん段取りと違うよ」
P「いや、なんか様子が……」
P「おーい、泰葉ー?」
泰葉「はぁー……」
P「……泰葉?」
泰葉「何度も呼ばないでください。何なんですか?」ハイライトオフ
P「!!!???」
P「やっややややや泰葉!!?」
泰葉「はあ、うるさいです。いい大人なんだから静かにしてくださいよ」
泰葉「『 プ ロ デ ュ ー サ ー 』」
P「や、泰葉……俺のこと……ずっと『Pさん』って……」
P「………………」
P「…………」
P「」ズシャァ・・・
周子「Pさーーん!?」
泰葉「はあ、うるさいです。いい大人なんだから静かにしてくださいよ」
泰葉「『 プ ロ デ ュ ー サ ー 』」
P「や、泰葉……俺のこと……ずっと『Pさん』って……」
P「………………」
P「…………」
P「」ズシャァ・・・
周子「Pさーーん!?」
ヒクヒク
P「イヒヒヒ…イヒ……イヒ…」
P「ポヘェーッ イヒイヒイヒイヒイヒイヒイヒヒヒヒフヘハホヒホホホホイヒヒヒヒ イヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒヒ」
P「そおーれッ! みんなあ~いっしょにマージャンやろーよおー バックギャモンも楽しいしサイコロもスリルあるよ~ぼくが一番だろーけどさぁー」ヒクヒク
周子「気を確かに!」
泰葉「あ、あのっPさん!? 大丈夫ですか!!?」ハイライトオン
――――
P「――!!」ハッ
P「お、俺は……?」
泰葉「Pさん……よかった」
P「あ、ああ泰葉……戻ったのか」
泰葉「はい。大丈夫です」
P「よかった……何かひどく悪い夢をみていたらしい」
P「さて、仕事に戻らないとな」
フレデリカ「あー面白かった♪ もう一回できる?」
P「? 何をだ?」
周子「はぁー……してやったってカンジ?」
泰葉「まさかあんなに効くなんて……」
周子「ま、お互い様……になるんかね。悪いのPさんじゃないけど」
泰葉「? 何の話ですか?」
フレデリカ「あー面白かった♪ もう一回できる?」
P「? 何をだ?」
周子「はぁー……してやったってカンジ?」
泰葉「まさかあんなに効くなんて……」
周子「ま、お互い様……になるんかね。悪いのPさんじゃないけど」
泰葉「? 何の話ですか?」
周子「いや、こっちも泰葉のこと騙そうとしてたからさ。Pさんがドッキリなんかされたことないだろうって」
泰葉「まあ、されたことないですけど……。したこともないから、今日はチャンスかなって」
周子「泰葉もそういうこと考えるんだね。なんかしゅーこちゃん安心したよ」
泰葉「色々と挑戦したいので。今年度も、よろしくお願いしますね」
周子「ほいほい。おたがい頑張っていきましょ」
フレデリカ「アタシもPさんって呼ぶべきー?」
P「ん? まあどう呼んでくれてもいいぞ。呼び捨てのやつまでいるくらいだしな」
フレデリカ「プロデューサーって呼び方は距離感じる?」
P「ウッ……頭が……!」
完
泰葉「まあ、されたことないですけど……。したこともないから、今日はチャンスかなって」
周子「泰葉もそういうこと考えるんだね。なんかしゅーこちゃん安心したよ」
泰葉「色々と挑戦したいので。今年度も、よろしくお願いしますね」
周子「ほいほい。おたがい頑張っていきましょ」
フレデリカ「アタシもPさんって呼ぶべきー?」
P「ん? まあどう呼んでくれてもいいぞ。呼び捨てのやつまでいるくらいだしな」
フレデリカ「プロデューサーって呼び方は距離感じる?」
P「ウッ……頭が……!」
完
四月馬鹿だけに何も考えずに馬鹿な状態で書きました
エイプリルフール色々やってましたね。アイドルを送り込んだはずの上空からとってもステキなアイドルがやってきたりね
お付き合いいただきありがとうございました
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