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P「願いを叶えるランキング」

公開日: : コメディ ,


1:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:15:37.70 ID:iy78IHc60
P「というわけで始まりました皆の願いを叶えるランキング~」

律子「何が、というわけなんですか」

春香「いきなり呼ばれて訳が分かりません」

高木「まぁまぁ、落ち着きたまえ。今から説明しよう」

千早「社長も共犯ですか……まぁ、聞きますけど」

P「皆、アイドルとして随分成長してくれただろ。ハッキリ言って、今うちの事務所は潤いまくっているんだ」

高木「そこで皆の頑張りに報いるためご褒美を、と思ったのだが生憎全員の希望を叶えられるほどは儲かっていない」

P「悩んだ末、全員にアンケートを取って1位の要望をどんな事があっても実現するという結論に落ち着いたわけだ」

2:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:16:53.99 ID:iy78IHc60
やよい「アンケートですか?」

伊織「ふーん、つまりここにいる皆で今から投票しようって話ね」

高木「いや、そうじゃない。既にアンケートは集計も終わってるんだ」

雪歩「へ?」

「ボク、そんなアンケートとか答えた覚えないですけど」

P「事前にこういうアンケートするって言うと、組織票が出てくる可能性もあるからな」

高木「それとなく会話の中に紛れ込ませてこっそりと皆の要望を回収させてもらったのだよ」

小鳥「私とプロデューサーさんと社長の三人でね」

3:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:18:05.78 ID:iy78IHc60
「組織票って……自分たち、そんな事しないぞ!」

亜美「そーだそーだ!」

真美「真美たちを信用しろー!」

律子「……一番信用ならない二人が同意してもね」

亜美「ひどっ!?」

あずさ「あらあら」

真美「うう、あずさおねーちゃんは真美たちのケッパク分かってくれるよね?」

貴音「大丈夫ですよ。お二人の事は皆、心では信頼しています」

4:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:18:55.78 ID:iy78IHc60
春香「それで、結局どんなアンケートを取ったんですか?」

P「それを今から発表する。ちなみに、俺もまだアンケートの結果までは知らないんだ」

小鳥「三人で分担して聞き回りましたし……」

高木「結果をまとめたのは私だからね」

P「では、まずは一つ目のアンケートから」

あずさ「その言い方だと他にもあるんですね~」

高木「その通りだよ。だが、まずは……」

P「えぇ。順番に行きますよ。それはズバリ! 『事務所に欲しい物ランキング』だー!」ドンドンパフパフ

千早「事務所に欲しい物、ですか?」

高木「うむ。皆が集まるこの事務所に少しばかり手を加えてより快適にしようと言う狙いだ」

5:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:20:31.28 ID:iy78IHc60
「……やっぱり、そんなアンケート答えた記憶ないなぁ」

小鳥「かなり遠まわしに聞いたから仕方ないわね」

伊織「遠まわし……少し嫌な予感がしてるんだけど」

P「気にしない気にしない。では、最下位から発表する」

「えーっと、12人だから……12位からって事か」

高木「いや、実は音無君にもこっそり聞いているので14人だよ」

小鳥「アンケート回収に参加したのはその後だから、私も何て答えたか記憶にないのよねぇ」

律子「……14? もしかして、私も入ってるんですか?」

高木「ハッハッハ。当然だろう?」

6:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:22:27.45 ID:iy78IHc60
P「そういう事だ。じゃ、発表するぞ。なになに……なんと、最下位が12個もある」

春香「えっ」

伊織「皆バラバラって事ね」

千早「皆の我が強いのか、それともアンケートに問題があったのか……」

「つまり、残った二人のが同じ意見で1位なんですね」

雪歩「……あれ? それなら、1位の発表だけでいいんじゃ……」

貴音「確かに。1位の意見のみが叶えられるという事でしたね」

P「それだと面白くないだろ」

「何でそこで面白さなんて単語が出てくるんだ?」

美希「不穏な空気が立ち込め始めたの」

7:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:23:39.95 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「と、ともかく詳細を聞いてから判断しましょう!」

やよい「どんな内容だったんですかー?」

P「まずは……『新しいパソコン』」

伊織「律子ね」

あずさ「律子さんね~」

「意外と小鳥さんかも」

亜美「まっさかー、ピヨちゃんが仕事道具欲しがるわけないじゃん」

真美「いやいや、最新のゲームしたいからって理由も考えられるYO」

9:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:24:36.12 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「皆ヒドいわ」

千早「結局、どっちなんですか?」

律子「多分、私ね。思い出すとそんな話を社長としたような」

高木「うむ。律子君に最近事務所で不便に感じてる事はないか、と聞いたね」

律子「不便というほどでもないんですけどね」

春香「……ふぅ、最初は無難だったね」

「この流れなら案外大丈夫なんじゃないか」

P「じゃ、次行くぞ。同点最下位二つ目は……『隙間を無くす』? なんだこれ?」
10:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:25:45.68 ID:iy78IHc60
雪歩「はい?」

美希「意味が分からないの」

貴音「はて、隙間を無くすとは一体……」

伊織「春香……あんた、さっきフラグ立てたわね」

春香「えっ!? 私のせい!?」

「あー……多分、これ自分のだと思う」

亜美「ひびきんの?」

真美「ハム蔵かー」

小鳥「えぇ。響ちゃんに事務所で困ってる事を聞いたらその答えが返ってきたの」

「その時はちょうどハム蔵が行方不明で……アンケートだって分かってたらもっと他の答えにしたぞ!」
11:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:27:18.62 ID:iy78IHc60
律子「いきなり問題発生じゃないですか」

P「まぁ、その辺は次回の課題って事で。さ、次はっとこれも同点最下位で……『看板娘』」

千早「なんですかそれは」

伊織「アイドル事務所に看板娘って……」

「そのままボクたちの事……かな?」

春香「」

やよい「春香さん?」

雪歩「もしかして、この看板娘って答えたのは……」

春香「……プロデューサーさんと話したあれ?」

P「うん」
12:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:28:36.53 ID:iy78IHc60
貴音「一体どのような会話をしたら、このような答えに行き着いたのでしょう」

美希「春香、再現して」

春香「うう……あれは確か、プロデューサーさんと事務所の前でバッタリ出会って」

P「二人で事務所を見上げながら、俺が訊ねたんだよな」

春香「『春香、この光景を見てくれ。何か足りないものがあるとは思わないか?』って聞かれましたね」

亜美「うわっ、遠まわしどころの話じゃないYO!」

真美「これは、はるるんに同情せざるを得ないね」

春香「私はてっきりたるき亭の事だと思って……」

小鳥「小川さんは?」

春香「……一人では足りないのかなぁと。これでも頑張って捻り出した答えなんですよぉっ!」
13:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:29:48.66 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「ふむ。少し聞き方が悪かったようだね」

律子「少し?」

P「ははは、悪かったな春香」

高木「うむ。このように彼も反省している事だ。水に流してあげないか?」

「なんでかな、あんまり反省してない気がする」

雪歩「多分それ当たってると思うよ」

「……なぁ、どんどん雲行きが怪しくなってきてないか?」

亜美「ひびきんはもう出たからいいじゃん」

真美「真美、何て答えたんだろう」

千早「サッパリ心当たりがないのが逆に怖いわね」

伊織「全然思い出せないなんて、どんだけさり気なかったのよ」
14:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:30:40.91 ID:iy78IHc60
P「まぁ、それは後のお楽しみって事で。次の発表するぞ……えーっと『らぁめん備蓄』」

美希「これは分かったの」

あずさ「貴音ちゃんね~」

貴音「多分そうでしょうね」

伊織「多分も何も、あんた以外いないでしょうに」

P「そうだな。貴音だ。じゃ、次はっと……」

千早「今ので終わりですか」

「貴音だって分かりきってるし、いいんじゃないか?」

P「俺もそう思う。で、次はー……『お酒』」
15:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:32:12.28 ID:iy78IHc60
やよい「仕事中にお酒はダメですよー」

「それ以前に何で事務所に足りないのがそれ?」

雪歩「えぇっと、これは誰が……」

春香「年齢を考えたら候補は一気に絞れるんだけど」

亜美「ピヨちゃん……」

真美「さすがにどうかと思うよ?」

小鳥「ちょ、ちょっと待って。私、そんな答え言った記憶ないんだけど」

伊織「でもあずさがお酒なんて答えるはずないでしょ」

あずさ「覚えはないわね~」

美希「小鳥はもう白状した方がいいと思うな」
16:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:33:19.17 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「誰も信用してくれない……グスン」

P「あー、お前ら待て待て。それはあずささんの意見だぞ」

あずさ「えっ」

アイドル「ええっ」

伊織「え、それ本当なの、あずさ」

あずさ「だから記憶にないのよ~。本当なんですか、プロデューサーさん?」

P「ええ。先週、小鳥さんも交えて飲んでいた時に」

小鳥「え、私も?」

亜美「なんでピヨちゃんが知らないのさ」

P「そりゃ、それぞれ担当するアイドル決めてやってたからな。いつ訊くかは個人の裁量だったし」

真美「納得できるようなできないような」
17:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:35:21.85 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「……そういえば、思い出してきたかも」

律子「どんな話をしたんです?」

小鳥「あれは確か、三人ともかなりお酒飲んでていい感じに酔っ払ってて……」

P「ここで言うのは憚られるが、まぁ、愚痴をボロボロ零してたわけだ」

あずさ「あ、思い出しました。プロデューサーさんが事務所に対する愚痴を吐いたんですよね」

小鳥「『うちの事務所、他の事務所に比べて色々貧弱すぎだと思いません?』とか何とか」

高木「……キミィ」

P「誘導尋問! 誘導尋問ですから! 本心じゃないですって!」

「かなり怪しいけど、取り合えず続きを頼むぞ」

小鳥「で、確か私がなんやかんや賛同してあずささんに振ったら……」

あずさ「『こうしてお酒でも飲んでまったりできる時間があったらいいですよね』と答えたような」

貴音「だからお酒、ですか」
18:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:36:32.82 ID:iy78IHc60
P「そういう事だ」

千早「先ほどから思うに、プロデューサーは聞き方に問題があり過ぎると思うんですが」

春香「はいはい! 私も賛成です! っていうか被害者です私!」

高木「うーむ、しかしルールは守っているようだしねぇ」

小鳥「貴音ちゃんの答えも問題はなかったみたいだし」

「なんで二人してプロデューサーを擁護してるんですか」

小鳥「いやぁ、中々大変なのよ? さり気なーく答えを聞き出すのって」

雪歩「何か、ますますこの先が不安になってきましたぁ」

伊織「雪歩、あまりそういう事言わないで。さっきからホント怖いんだから」

「そもそも自分たちへのご褒美企画のはずなのになんで怖がらなきゃならないんだ?」

貴音「大いなる謎ですね」

P「話が進まないじゃないか。次発表するぞ。えーっと……『優秀な事務員』?」
19:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:38:14.95 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「ピヨッ!?」

亜美「うわぁ」

真美「これはまたダイレクトな……」

春香「優秀なって部分にそこはかとない悪意を感じるね」

やよい「小鳥さんはいつもがんばってますよー」

小鳥「うう、やよいちゃんはいつだって私の味方ね」

美希「これは誰の意見なの?」

高木「確か、水瀬君だったかな」

P「そうなってますね」

伊織「えっ、私!?」
20:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:39:33.64 ID:iy78IHc60
あずさ「伊織ちゃん……」

伊織「そ、そんな目で見ないで。全然記憶にないんだけど」

高木「いやいや、確かに言ったよ」

「えっと、どんなシチュエーションだったんだ?」

高木「水瀬君が事務所のソファでくつろいでいた時に、『最近事務所について思うところはないかね』と訊いたんだよ」

伊織「……あ、あぁっ!?」

やよい「わっ」

「何か心当たりがあったの?」

伊織「思い出したわ。確か、その時ちょうど小鳥がサボってたのを見つけたのよ」

小鳥「ゲ」

伊織「で、まぁ小鳥の事を訊かれてるのかと思って、つい……」

雪歩「話しちゃったんだ」
21:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:40:32.89 ID:iy78IHc60
亜美「これはピヨちゃんが悪いね」

真美「いおりんは被害者だったのだ……」

千早「タイミングも悪かったようだけど」

律子「取り合えず、後で小鳥さんには色々聞くことにしましょう」

小鳥「ひぃっ」

P「そろそろ次行くぞー。なになに……『お菓子の買い置きを沢山』?」

春香「今までのに比べたら結構普通」

「うーん、可愛らしさから言えばやよいか?」

貴音「ですが、やよいがそのような答えをするでしょうか」

やよい「うー、分からないです」
22:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:42:01.41 ID:iy78IHc60
伊織「亜美か真美じゃないの?」

亜美「知らないよー」

真美「記憶にないね」

律子「……もしかして、小鳥さん?」

高木「正解だよ」

小鳥「えっ」

「あー。小鳥さんか」

雪歩「確かに納得ですぅ」

小鳥「えっ、私そんな風に見られてたの?」

伊織「他にどんな見られ方があったのよ。もういいでしょ、次行きましょうよ」

P「おう。えっと……何だこれ『地面』?」
23:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:43:02.62 ID:iy78IHc60
「雪歩だ」

春香「雪歩だね」

美希「他に候補がないの」

「掘りたかったんだな」

雪歩「えっ、えっ」

小鳥「そうね。掘りたかったのよ」

P「じゃもう次……『バストアップ器具』……」

春香「ちょ! それは言っちゃダメですよ!!」
24:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:44:18.29 ID:iy78IHc60
美希「そうなの! いくらハニーでもそれはダメなの!」

「プロデューサー、千早の気持ちを考えろ!」

やよい「プロデューサー、言っていい事と悪い事があるんですよ?」

千早「……あなた達、擁護してくれるのは嬉しいけど、何故それが私だと?」

貴音「……違うのですか?」

あずさ「ごめんなさい。私も千早ちゃんだとばかり」

千早「そんなものを欲しがるなんて人前で言うはずないでしょう」

律子(思ってはいるのね……)

P「言っておくが、千早じゃないぞ」
26:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:45:51.49 ID:iy78IHc60
春香「えっ! ホントに!?」

千早「春香?」

亜美「ええー、じゃ誰なのさー」

伊織「残ってる人から考えるに……亜美か真美じゃないの」

真美「真美は知らないよ!」

高木「……これは菊地君の意見なんだが」

「はぁっ!?」

雪歩「……真ちゃん?」

「ボ、ボクはそんなの知らないよ!」

「これはどんな状況から出たのか訊いたほうがいいんじゃないか?」
27:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:47:08.28 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「菊地君が事務所で雑誌を読んでいたんだよ。女性週刊誌だったかな」

小鳥「あぁ、そこに載ってたんですね」

雪歩「真ちゃん、覚えてる?」

「……ううん」

高木「かなり熱心に読み耽っていたが『少し訪ねたい事があるんだが、いいかね』と訊くと頷いてくれたんだ」

美希「あ、何となく分かったの」

高木「で、『今何か事務所に欲しい物はあるかね?』と訊いても返事が無い。視線は一箇所に集中している」

春香「私も分かったかも」

高木「私は更に訊ねた。『もしかしてそれが欲しいのかね?』と。すると『でも家には置けないんですよね』と返ってきた」

「あ、ああぁぁぁっ!!!」
28:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:48:56.10 ID:iy78IHc60
あずさ「無意識だったのね~」

小鳥「社長、気付かれてなかったみたいですね」

「うわぁぁぁっ!! ボクのバカ! アホ! 何やってるんだよぉぉぉぉっ!!」

雪歩「お、落ち着いて真ちゃん!」

美希「……全ては不幸な事故だったの」

「どうするんだ、あれ」

P「ほっとけば大人しくなるだろ。気にせず次の発表を……『ベッド』か」

春香「美希だ」

千早「美希ね」
29:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:50:29.43 ID:iy78IHc60
亜美「いっぱいお昼寝したいんだね」

真美「ミキミキだもん、ちかたないね」

美希「あんまり反応良くないの」

貴音「特におかしいところがないので仕方の無い事かと」

律子「事務所に昼寝用ベッドが欲しいなんて、十分おかしいと思うんだけど」

P「まぁ、細かいところは気にしないで続けるぞ……次は『音楽ルーム』」

小鳥「これが千早ちゃんね」

千早「言われてみれば、プロデューサーに問いかけられた記憶がありますね」

亜美「凄く普通だね」

真美「今までで一番かも」
30:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:51:34.91 ID:iy78IHc60
「律子の意見が一番じゃないか。これも悪くないけど」

高木「正直、これが採用されなくて良かったよ。とてもじゃないが場所がない」

律子「ですね。千早がどんな規模を想像して答えたのかは知らないけど」

あずさ「これで、いよいよ残ったのは三人だけね~」

やよい「私と」

亜美「亜美と真美だね」

真美「意外な展開だね」

美希「二人はもっと早く皆を笑わせてくると思ってたの」

春香「うん。正直ネタ要因だと思ってた」

伊織「でも、これで少なくとも亜美と真美のどっちかの意見が1位取ってるって事よね」

貴音「しかし、どちらもやよいと被る意見を出すとは思えませんが」

P「あー、じゃ最後は纏めて発表と行くか。同点最下位は『蛍光管』? で、1位は『ゲーム部屋』だ」
31:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:52:09.11 ID:iy78IHc60
美希「どれが誰か聞くまでもない結果だね」

「しかも1位の発表なのに盛り上がりが無いぞ……」

小鳥「番組じゃないんだから、そういうのは要らないのよ」

あずさ「それで、皆心当たりはあるのかしら~?」

亜美「あー……うん、ゲーム部屋……亜美だね」

真美「真美も。言われてみれば分かるね」

「結局この二人か。まぁ、それは予想できたし内容も分かるんだけど問題は……」

雪歩「蛍光管……気になるよね」

やよい「えぇと、私かな?」

伊織「それ以外にないでしょ」
32:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:53:03.07 ID:iy78IHc60
千早「何で蛍光管なのかしら?」

小鳥「やよいちゃんらしい可愛らしさだとは思うけど……」

高木「それはだね、やよい君にアンケートを取らせてもらおうとした時、ちょうど蛍光管が切れていてね」

小鳥「そういえば、ちょっと前予備もなくなってましたね」

高木「そうなんだよ。だから蛍光管と答えられてしまったんだ」

P「最初に返ってきた答えを採用するルールですから……やよいにとっては残念な結果になってしまったな」

伊織「まぁ、他の答えでも結果は変わらなかったようだけど」

やよい「伊織ちゃんの言う通りだし、気にしてませんよー」

高木「やよい君は優しいな。かわりと言っては何だが蛍光管は予備を補充しておいたから安心してくれ」

「全然かわりになってないぞ」
33:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:53:48.24 ID:iy78IHc60
律子「……で、1位がゲーム部屋ですか」

春香「これ、本当に採用するんですか?」

P「ルールだからな」

亜美「マジで?」

真美「やったね!」

高木「事務所の一角に敷居を立てて、そこにテレビとゲーム機、ボードゲーム等を搬入しようかと考えているよ」

P「その前にスペース作るのが大変そうですね」

律子「決定事項なら手伝います」

「でも、ちょっと面白そうかも」

やよい「ボードゲーム……オセロもあるのかな」

伊織「あるんじゃない?」
34:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:54:38.47 ID:iy78IHc60
やよい「伊織ちゃん出来たら一緒に遊ぼうね!」

伊織「ま、まぁいいわよ?」

律子「経費でゲーム機買うんですか?」

P「俺の手持ちから幾らか持ってくるし、言いだしっぺの亜美や真美に協力頼んで……何とかなると思うぞ」

小鳥「私も多少は協力できると思いますよ」

あずさ「ますます事務所が賑やかになりそうね~」

春香「やよいたちを見てると、この結果は良かったのかもって思えるね」

「変なのじゃなくて良かったぞ」

律子「アイドル事務所にゲーム部屋……変じゃないと?」

P「まぁまぁ。あまり深く考えるなよ」

千早「ところで、ランキングはまだあるんですよね?」
35:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:55:33.38 ID:iy78IHc60
P「おう。それじゃ、次のランキング発表といこうか」

貴音「貴方様が楽しそうで何よりです」

P「続いては~……ジャジャン! 『社長にお願いランキング』~!!」ドンドンパフパフ

小鳥「つ、ついに来てしまったのね……」

春香「あのー、早くも暗雲立ち込めた感じの人がいるんですけど」

P「気にするな。今回は、俺が小鳥さんを含めた半数、もう半分を小鳥さんに頼んでアンケートを取った」

高木「私が直接聞くと公正な意見が出ないと思ってね」

千早「……しかし、社長にお願い、ですか」

美希「多分、ミキが何て答えたか分かったの」

「自分も、今度のは覚えてるぞ」

春香「え? 皆は分かるの?」
36:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:57:19.83 ID:iy78IHc60
やよい「春香さんは覚えがないんですか?」

春香「全然ないんだけど」

伊織「……ねぇ、またさっきみたいに全員バラバラなんてオチじゃないでしょうね?」

P「俺に聞くなよ。集計結果は社長のみぞ知る、だ」

小鳥「でも、集計途中でかなり意見は集中してましたよ」

P「確かに、俺の方もある程度固まってはいましたね」

高木「ふふふ。今回のランキングはかなり面白い結果になったよ」

あずさ「それでは、発表をお願いできますか?」

P「じゃ、早速……」

高木「待ちたまえ。今度は私が発表しよう。まず、最下位だが1票のものが二つあった」
37:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 20:59:12.70 ID:iy78IHc60
「たった二つ……確かにさっきのランキングとは違うみたいだね」

雪歩「逆に1票のみの意見って何だろう」

高木「まず最下位一つ目……『アイドルに休みを上げたい』」

アイドル「えっ」

P「あぁ、律子のか」

律子「えっ、私ですか?」

あずさ「律子さん……ありがとうございます」

伊織「律子……あんた……泣かせるんじゃないわよっ」

亜美「さっすが、りっちゃんだね!」

貴音「これは……込み上げるものがありますね」
38:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:02:34.47 ID:iy78IHc60
「自分、すごく嬉しいぞ!」

千早「こういう気遣いは……嬉しいけど、少しもやもやするわね」

やよい「みんな一緒がいいなーって思います」

春香「確かにそうだけど……二人とも、こういう時は素直に喜ぼうよ!」

律子「……本当は私の力で何とかするべきなんですけど」

P「俺達の力で何とかできない問題もあるからな。社長に頼むのもおかしくないさ」

真美「でもこれ1票なんだね」

「仕方ないよ。ボクらが自分で休み欲しいなんて言えないし」

雪歩「その意見を口に出来たのは律子さんだけですぅ」

美希「雪歩は一人忘れてると思うの」

小鳥「……」ダラダラ

高木「えー、もう一つだが……『私に休みを下さい』」
39:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:04:24.86 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「……」

アイドル「…………」

小鳥「あの、その……ま、まさかこんなランキングの集計だとは思わなかったというか……」

伊織「……ま、しょうがないわよね」

小鳥「えっ」

春香「小鳥さんもお休み少ないですもんね」

千早「私達や律子、プロデューサーだけじゃなくて、音無さんにもお休みは必要よね」

あずさ「小鳥さんの意見、いいと思いますよ~」

律子「仕事中にサボるのは別ですけど」

小鳥「み、皆ぁ」ウルウル
40:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:05:40.31 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「……次のを発表してもいいかね」

P「どうぞどうぞ」

高木「これは少し言い難いんだが、2票入った意見で……『社長、もっと働け』」

亜美「うわぁ」

真美「これはひどいね」

伊織「普通に働いているでしょうに……これ答えたの誰よ?」

春香「律子さんと小鳥さんが既に出たから、私たちの誰かなんだよね」

千早「私は多分、違う答えのはずだけど」

貴音「伊織の言うとおり、高木殿はしっかりと職務を果たしていると思うのですが」

P「……あー、傍観者のつもりでいるとこ悪いが、その内の一人は春香だぞ」

春香「えっ」
41:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:07:17.78 ID:iy78IHc60
「春香……社長の事そんな風に思ってたんだ」

美希「さすが春香、ミキたちが思ってさえいない事を平然と言ってのける女なの」

春香「ちょ、ちょっと」

亜美「おおっと、言い訳しようったってムダだぜー?」

真美「にーちゃんがショーコ持ってるんだからなー!」

小鳥「……煽っているところ言い難いけど、もう一人って亜美ちゃんだからね?」

亜美「えっ!?」

真美「亜美……?」

やよい「亜美……そんな事言ったらダメだよ」

亜美「ま、待ってよ! 全然記憶ないんだけど!」
43:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:08:17.33 ID:iy78IHc60
小鳥「え? でも、私が『社長が何でも願いを叶えてくれるって言ったらどうする?』って聞いたら」

亜美「あ」

小鳥「『社長が? んー仕事してるとこ見た事ないし、願い叶えるなんてムリっしょー』って」

真美「亜美ぃ……」

貴音「なるほど。要約して、働けという結論が出たのですね」

千早「だとしたら、春香は?」

P「俺が『社長にお願いがあったら、俺から言っとくぞ』って聞いたんだよ」

春香「あの時のあれですか!?」

P「春香は『そうですねー。仕事してる姿を見てみたいです』と答えたよな」

春香「……はい、言いました」

律子「これも要約すると働けになるのね」
44:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:09:31.98 ID:iy78IHc60
「春香は何でそんな答えを口にしたんだ?」

美希「さっきはああ言ったけど、春香だったらもっと違う答えを言うと思うの」

春香「……あの時はプロデューサーさんも律子さんも小鳥さんも皆忙しそうだったんだけど」

やよい「けど?」

春香「質問が来るほんの少し前、社長がのん気に鼻歌歌いながら社長室に入るのを見て、つい……」

伊織「前のやよいといい、何で抜群に悪いタイミングばかりなのよ」

貴音「お待ちを。逆にそれが最善のタイミングだったとも考えられませんか?」

「まぁ、ネタとしては最高かもしれないけど……」

雪歩「どう考えても良くないタイミングですよぅ」

高木「……そろそろ次に行っていいかね?」

律子「いいと思いますよ」
46:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:11:04.18 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「では、次はいよいよ2位の発表だ。得票数は4票」

千早「……つまり、働けは3位だったのね」

春香「イヤな3位だったよ」

高木「その内容は……『皆で遊びたい!』だよ」

「あ、これボクのだ。最近、皆で集まる事って少なくなったから」

雪歩「私も、かな」

「自分もだぞ」

真美「じゃ、あと一人は真美だね」

貴音「誰の意見か一瞬で判明しましたね」

伊織「なるほど、あんたたちはそういう答えを出したわけね」

あずさ「いいんじゃないかしら~」
48:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:12:51.83 ID:iy78IHc60
P「……あれ? これが2位か」

春香「プロデューサーさん、どうかしました?」

P「いや、俺はこれが1位だと思ってたんだよ」

やよい「なんでですか?」

P「なんでって、真も雪歩も響も真美も俺が訊いたんだよ。他は律子と小鳥さんと春香な」

貴音「訊いたうちの過半数が同じ結果だったのですね」

律子「……ちょっと待って下さい。じゃ、1位は……」

亜美「ピヨちゃんが訊いた人ばっかりって事じゃん」

真美「ピヨちゃん……まさか、答えを好き勝手イジったんじゃ……」

小鳥「そ、そんな事してません!」

千早「多分、大丈夫よ。私の答えが、想像と一致しているならだけど」
49:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:14:38.27 ID:iy78IHc60
春香「千早ちゃんたちはどんな答えだったの?」

小鳥「では社長、そろそろ発表を」

高木「うむ。その前に……この1位に関してはニュアンスの同じ意見をまとめさせてもらった」

P「纏めてって……アリなんですか?」

高木「内容はほぼ同じものだったから問題ないよ」

律子「似たような? よく分かりませんね」

伊織「律子は気付くと思ったけど」

あずさ「そういうところはプロデューサーさんとそっくりよね~」

律子「……えっと、何? 私は今、貶されてるの? 褒められてるの?」

P「さぁ?」

高木「ゴホン……では、栄えある第1位の発表といこう。……それは『プロデューサー二人の待遇改善』だよ」
50:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:15:28.68 ID:iy78IHc60
P律子「!?」

美希「やっぱりなの」

あずさ「なるほど、そういう風にまとめられたんですね~」

やよい「プロデューサーにお休みをあげたいって言ったかなーって」

「あぁ、これは納得だね」

雪歩「うん。私たちは言えなかったね」

真美「社長さんへのお願いでも、にーちゃんには言えないもんね」

伊織「でも、そう考えると小鳥は煽りを受けたのよね」

「ぴよ子もって本人の前で言い難いからな」

P「お、お前ら……」グスッ

律子「考える事は一緒だったって事ね……」ホロリ
51:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:16:47.13 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「言い訳がましいが、私もこの件に関しては前々から問題だと思っていた」

P「問題だなんて……休みは仕方ないことですし、給与は十分頂いてますよ」

高木「いや。無理があったのは事実だよ。だからこの機会に今のやり方を見直すことを約束しよう」

律子「期待させて頂きますね」

千早「このランキングはいい感じに終わったわね」

春香「これでランキングは終わりですか?」

P「ん? あぁ、これで今回は終りょ――」

小鳥「ところがどっこい! まだ終わりじゃないんです、プロデューサーさん!」

P「へっ?」

高木「キミには悪いが、実はもう一つランキングを用意してあるのだよ」
52:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:18:00.48 ID:iy78IHc60
P「俺……聞いてないですけど」

小鳥「言ってませんからね」

P「……そこはかとなくイヤな予感がするんですが」

高木「ハッハッハ、聞こえんなぁ」

小鳥「というわけで発表しちゃいます! 題して、『プロデューサーにお願いランキング』~!!」ドンドンパフパフ

P「はっ!?」

アイドル+律子「ええぇぇぇぇぇっ!!?」

高木「説明は不要だと思うが、私へのお願いランキングのプロデューサー版だよ」

P「そ、それはつまり俺に願いを叶えろと?」

小鳥「それ以外にありませんよぉ」
54:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:19:10.19 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「ちなみに、今回のランキングを行うに当たってアンケートは音無君に一任した」

「それ、ぴよ子の分はどうなってるんだ?」

高木「あぁ、それだけは私が最初に訊いたよ。その後に概要を説明して、音無君に任せたわけだ」

春香「……あの、そのアンケートってどうやって訊いて回ったんです?」

「……何故だろう、凄くイヤな予感がする。今までの比じゃないレベルの」

伊織「奇遇ね……私もちょっと、いいえ、今までの人生で最高ってレベルに怖くなってきたわ」

小鳥「それはですね、この前やった765プロ女子会の席で皆まとめて――」

律子「はぁぁぁぁぁぁ!!?」

春香「ぎゃあああぁぁぁぁ!!!」

千早「春香……その叫び方はどうかと思うけど、これだけは言っておくわ……代弁ありがとう」
56:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:20:23.93 ID:iy78IHc60
「ぴ、ぴよ子! それは手を出しちゃいけない領域だぞ!!」

貴音「……まさか、あの時の事でしょうか」

真美「あれはダメだぁぁぁぁぁぁぁっ!!」

亜美「うわっ、真美!?」

雪歩「ダメ……穴掘って……埋めないと……」ザックザック

「小鳥さんをだね? ボクも手伝うよ……」ザックザック

P「ま、待て雪歩! 真! 事情はよくわからんが、ここは事務所だ!」

美希「……ハニー、ここは地獄になったの。ハニーは逃げたほうがいいと思うな」

小鳥「うふふ……ダメよ、美希ちゃん。そうやってさり気なくプロデューサーさんを遠ざけようとするのは」

伊織「なんで小鳥はこんなに強気なのよっ」
57:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:21:35.43 ID:iy78IHc60
あずさ「全てを知っている余裕……かしら?」

やよい「今の小鳥さんはちょっと怖いかなーって」

小鳥「安心して。ただのヤケだから」

美希「今の一言で更に事態が悪化したの」

高木「うーむ、大変なことになってしまったね」

P「他人事のようにしてないで、止めてくださいよ!」

高木「しかしだね、私は何があったのか知らないから止めようにも……」

小鳥「いやぁ、皆の本音を聞くのは大変でしたよ。お酒の力って凄いですよね!」

P「……飲ませたんですか? いや、飲ませたのか? え?」

小鳥「そんな事言ってませんよー」ピヘヘ
58:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:22:35.68 ID:iy78IHc60
P「……律子」

律子「わ、私に聞かないで! ノーコメントですっ!」

高木「ところで、発表はまだかね? 集計も音無君に任せていたから私も気になってるんだよ」

P「……俺は聞きたくなくなってきましたが」

小鳥「んもう、そんな事言ってー。では発表しちゃいましょう! 第1位は……」

高木「ん? いきなり1位でいいのかね?」

小鳥「いいんです。満場一致ですから」

高木「という事は……ほほぅ」

小鳥「では改めて1位は……『私と付き合って、もしくは結婚して』です!」

P「ブフゥゥゥゥゥっ!!!」
59:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:23:35.46 ID:iy78IHc60
「あああ、やっぱりぃぃぃっ!!?」

雪歩「そんな、穴掘りが間に合わないなんて……っ」

「まだだぞ! まだ、そこの窓から放り投げればっ」

貴音「観念するべきですよ、響。もう言葉は伝わってしまったのです」

伊織「もうダメよ、お終いよ……」

やよい「顔が熱いかなーって……でも、私そんな事言ったかな?」

あずさ「やよいちゃんは覚えて無くても仕方ないのよ」

春香「あれを忘れてるなんて、やよいは幸せだね」

美希「あーあ、ミキが自分で言うつもりだったのに……小鳥のバカ」

千早「全くね。もう少し私の実力がついていたら、自信を持って自らの口で言えたのに」
60:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:24:19.10 ID:iy78IHc60
真美「……」ポカーン

亜美「真美があうあう言う事もなくかたまっちゃったYO!!」

小鳥「亜美ちゃんは平気なのね」

亜美「亜美はやよいっちと一緒で覚えてないから、何とかなったよ」

律子「……小鳥さん、夜道に気をつけてくださいよ。えぇ」

高木「いやぁ、大変な事になったねぇ」

P「大変の一言で済ませないで下さい!! っていうか、お前らもマジか!? 正気か!?」

あずさ「確かにある意味で正気じゃなかった人もいましたけど~」

小鳥「集計方法にまったく問題ありません!」
62:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:25:10.95 ID:iy78IHc60
高木「それで、キミはどうするのかね?」

P「どうするって……どうしようもないですよ!!」

小鳥「私はいつでもウェルカムですよ? それに、ルールは守るべきものじゃないんですか!」

P「ふざけないで頂きたい! 俺は逃げる。誰が何と言おうと逃げるぞ!!」ダダダダッ

律子「あ、ちょ、この惨状を放り出して逃げないで下さい!」

小鳥「男らしくないですよ!」

P「見えん! 聞かん! 俺はもう何も知らんッッッ!!」ダダダダッ

高木「やれやれ。せっかくお膳立てをしたというのに……」
63:以下、2013年にかわりまして2014年がお送りします:2014/03/28(金) 21:25:43.47 ID:iy78IHc60
美希「あふぅ。やっぱりいつもの765プロなの。まぁ、続きはミキが自分でやるから問題ないって思うな」

貴音「美希の言うとおりですね。決着は己が手でつけるべきものです」

千早「萩原さん、お茶を頂けるかしら」

雪歩「あ、はい。どうぞ」スッ

亜美「……」ズズズ

真美「あー、ちょっと落ち着いたかもー」ズズズ

伊織「結局、こんなオチになるのがうちの事務所なのよね」ズズズ

やよい「そうだねー」


終わり

元スレ
P「願いを叶えるランキング」
http://ex14.vip2ch.com/test/read.cgi/news4ssnip/1396005337/

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